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Crushing after 40 Part 3
“I can’t have these feelings or whatever the F this is, it’s dumb and irrelevant.”
I paced the floor of my apartment that night and wondered why of all times during the highest peak of my internal bliss I get hit with a reminder.
“It was nothing”, I disputed. “Just a fluke encounter that needed to be ignored.”
…but I couldn’t.
December 22nd, 2022
Was it curiosity, intrigue, or testing the universal pull? I wasn’t sure what came over me 3 days before Christmas but I decided to head to that market.
I drove 30 minutes not knowing what to expect, not knowing if there was even a reason, or if I was just a 40 year old school girl lost in the imagination of her own thoughts. Either way, I needed to end this nagging feeling that I was missing out.
I wasn’t sure if he worked that day, or even if it was the correct store but what did I have to lose? Deep breaths in, nervous hands, and rapid heartbeat to find not a soul in the produce section. “Fine, whatever” I thought, then walked the aisles to get 2 cans of soup and some cheese from the deli counter. “May as well get items for lunch while I was there”, I reminded.