My Unforgettable Shadow

They say I should forget you; leave you with the pile of other things and people that weren’t meant for me. The track record of us holds evidence of so many reasons why I should cast a spell to forget but the spell of love illuminates stronger. Everyday my heart echoes, initially whispering, now screaming your name.

I should remember the pain of you walking; the pain of forcing myself to let you go. I should forget you and open my heart to another; one who's not afraid to love me fully and embrace all that I am.

So why haven't I engulfed the void, accepting the reality that you are gone? Why can't I stop the tears from flowing from my yearning heart? There are so many reasons to forget you but the passion of us is on constant replay in my head.

I can not go on waiting for a shadow that does not exist; the mental exhaustion cripples me. 
I cry and in time they say it will heal all wounds. I laugh at the notion for I am still waiting for time to do its job; torturous to say the least. I'm still waiting to see someone else with the same open heart that I've given you.

How unfair is it to look at those of interest with such lack of interest? I dance blindly to their advances hoping and wishing I adhere to the abundant offers.

I feel I am cursed, forever destined to live in this continuous loop. Destined to forever wishing you were here. Constantly feeling I am losing my mind by obsessively dwelling on what could have been; the nostalgia of you forever being mine.

I was told there is a lesson that I must inevitably learn. I am still trying to figure out the exact tidbits of this non accredited and unauthorized course of study.

Release me from this grip, I wish to be loved; I fucking deserve it! I deserve the passion of one who will not leave me rendered nor broken with blurry vision!

But here I am, still waiting with ongoing sighs and endless loop holes of emotional upheavals. Like someone waiting for their love to return from a war, I am in agony of the unknown.
With every rising sun and full moon, I shed tears in hopes that someday…

Well, someday I will finally place you with all that is in my past only remembering fragments of your shadow.