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It’s Almost 3 am!
Hello darkness, my old friend
2:49 a.m., and a panic attack emerges. There is nowhere to go, and no one I can explain the chaos of my mind.
I’m always the listener, the solver, the non judgemental shoulder to cry on, but for me it’s the opposite, so instead, I panic.
It’s now 2:52 a.m.
A whirlwind of thoughts, what if scenarios, pleas of relief, and constant wonder if it’s me or just the luck of the draw. The audacity of life turning its heels and delivering a blow that knocked the wind out of my heart. The gentle and kind-hearted breeze that used to live inside of me.
2:55 a.m. and I no longer wonder; I no longer pray, and I no longer serenade the energy of hope with pleas of desperation. Hope is only a tormenter that watches with a sinister smile from afar. It’s an energy filled with empty promises latching you on to intangible visions and glimmers of a life that has yet to transpire. So instead, I let out a final whisper into the void “you have no power over me”.
It’s now 2:58 a.m. Panic no longer consumes my existence. Playing small is no longer my drive, and being nice is a distant memory. I now realize that the only way through the caverns of this thing called life is by embracing the portion of me that most are led to believe is unbecoming. Well, I believe otherwise.
And with that potent honesty, something within me unlocked, and a door was opened.
“Hello darkness, my old friend.”
Until next time readers!
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